Here we go again.

Today was my first day back at work after maternity leave, and I’ve been focused on two things: 1. I hate being away from my kids. 2. The idea of pumping for 12 months is exhausting. Okay, okay- so June is already 6 weeks old. That leaves roughly 46 weeks of pumping….x at least 5 days a week….x 3 pumping sessions per day…x 15 minutes per session…

I don’t feel like doing the math, but it’s a lot of time to have one’s boobs hooked up to a machine.

It wouldn’t be as annoying if I hadn’t *just* got done pumping for Lucy in October- I pumped for her for 13 months. Even though pregnancy diminished my supply months before, I could still manage to get a couple ounces, and I was determined to keep giving Lucy breastmilk (she was, and still is, breastfeeding when I’m at home).

I don’t regret pumping for Lucy at all…it’s just that another year of pumping sounds like such a drag. It’s months more of carrying my pumps around (I have 4, by the way- a Lactina hospital-grade my insurance pays for and that I keep at work, a Medela Pump-in-Style, a Medela Swing for car use, and an Avent Isis manual), marking and freezing bags, washing pump parts...

If I had the money, I’d pay someone to wash my flanges, bottles, membranes, etc. I HATE IT THAT MUCH.

I should be grateful I have no issues pumping. In fact, I’m glad I had an extra cooler stored at work, because I partially filled 2- 8 oz bottles plus 4- 5 ounce bags. That’s roughly 36 ounces, people. Plenty of milk for June plus some to share- and believe me, I do. I’ve been blessed to be able to give around 300-350 ounces to another mama so far.

I should be grateful that I have a desk job that allows me to pump as needed and coworkers who don’t say anything (well, I have had some “top off my coffee, please” comments- but that just makes me laugh).

The funny thing is, no matter how much I complain about it, I know I’m gonna do it- all for the privilege of coming home at the end of the day, putting up my feet, picking up June and watching Lucy crawl into my lap, and getting back some of the intimacy with them I lose during the day.

On a lighter note, I’m going to check another box in my “weird places I’ve pumped” list. On Monday I’ll be taking my students on a field trip of sorts, and will have to pump somewhere- it might be in a hangar.

Where's the funniest/craziest/strangest place you've pumped?

Wordless Wednesday.

Lucy can sign (updated AGAIN).

Lucy's signing has really taken off. Because I use this blog as a journal, I use it to record her developments like her new signs. I'm sorry that this is such a boring post!

At 16 months, Lucy can sign:

Food:

Eat, drink, water, milk, all-done, more, cracker

Animals:

Dog, cat, horse, fish, bird, frog, bug

Family:

Mama, daddy, baby, grandma, grandpa

Various:

Help, bath, diaper, ball, car, book, thank you

In other developments, she also wore her first pigtails today.

Wordless Wednesday.

Love those first baby smiles!

Let's go to dinner...in Alabama.

The conversation went something like this:

Brett: Let's go to dinner.

Emily: Okay, where?

Brett: How about Lulu's?

Emily: The restaurant Lucy Buffett owns? (If you don't know, Lucy is Jimmy's sister)

Brett: Yeah

Emily: Isn't it in Alabama?

Brett: Yeah

Emily: Okay. Let's go!

We drove right by the Flora-Bama.

Great seats, right on the harbor.

Junie was excited to be there.

Brett trying on my new shades. A little Boogie Nights, I think.

Junie had her dinner while we waited for ours.

Lucy with Daddy's shades.

While we were eating a barge floated by.

Lucy loved her green beans....

....and was kind enough to share them with Daddy.

She dominated her fried fish. Such a good eater!

We'll be back soon.

Just wondering....

Do you have a special name that you and your child use (or used) to refer to breastfeeding?

At our house, nursing is called "nummers." As in, "Lucy, would you like nummers?" I probably use this term because it's the same one my mom used, and as I am 10 years older than my youngest sibling, I can vividly remember her using it.

The nickname Brett's grandmother uses is "nip-nong."

On a funny note, my grandmother told me a cute story the other day. When one of her cousins was 2 or 3, she asked her mother (while they were in public) for some "titty dinner."

Makes "nummers" sound pretty innocent, doesn't it?

First time nursing June-bug in the hospital- she was about 2 minutes old here.

Rethinking NFP.

TMI Warning: This post discusses birth control. If you don't want to hear about it, and especially my own thoughts on it, I suggest you leave now. You've been warned!

Moving on....

I've blogged about NFP (Natural Family Planning) before. I think it's a great technique and, when practiced by the book and under normal circumstances, an accurate one. We used NFP when we were first married, up until the point we decided to try for our first child. When we made that decision, we became pregnant immediately.

After Lucy was born, I discussed birth control options with my husband and midwife, and decided I was comfortable with continuing NFP. I guess I expected that it would work as well post-baby as it did pre-baby. Was I ever surprised when I discovered I was pregnant (with the baby now known as June) at 6 months post-partum!

Whereas before I bragged about how well NFP worked and couldn't imagine using any other method, now I can't help but feel a little let down by it. I guess I shouldn't- breastfeeding kept me cycle-free for six months. I know that even when practiced carefully, ecological breastfeeding is only recommended as reliable birth control for that amount of time. (I don't mean to imply I practiced ecological breastfeeding- as I work out-of-the-home, it's impossible. What I mean is that even under solid "breastfeeding-as-birth-control" conditions, 6 months is the standard).

Please, please don't think I regret my pregnancy with June. Although it was certainly a surprise, I trust in God's timing and my love for my baby girl is indescribable. That being said, I am not ready to join the 3-under-3 club (that is, having 3 children under 3). My mother, as well as several other people in my family, are members of that illustrious group, but I have zero desire to join them.

Problem is, I feel stuck now.

I don't use hormonal birth control because of my religious beliefs. As a Catholic, I believe that life begins at conception. But wait, you might say- the Pill prevents ovulation, and therefore conception, entirely. But that's not an accurate statement, at least not 100% of the time. Yes, the primary method by which the Pill works is by suppressing ovulation. However, it has a secondary method as well in that it works to make the lining of the uterus inhospitable to implementation.

The bottom line is that by using the Pill (and other forms of hormonal birth control), I would be knowingly taking action that could prevent a fertilized egg from implanting. I'm not cool with that.

Further, most hormonal birth control presents the risk of killing one's supply while breastfeeding. Even the progesterone-only pills present a risk, albeit a lower one. Exclusively-breastfeeding my baby is something I take very, very seriously, so this is another reason why I don't consider hormonal birth control a good option.

So where does that leave me? As far as I can tell, I'm back at old-school contraceptives, i.e. barrier methods. Boooooooo.

Suggestions, anyone?