Where the Blue Ridge yawns its greatness....

Last weekend Brett and I decided to haul our happy butts up to Clemson. It had only been a month since we’d visited last, but as my due date approaches, we realized that it was probably our last opportunity to go before no. 2 gets here. Besides, it was a home-game weekend, the weather was supposed to be beautiful, and my mama and aunt said they would be interested in driving down as well- Clemson is about a 12 hour drive for them, an 8 hour drive for us.

Anyway, Brett managed to pack the car while I was at work while simultaneously keeping Lucy distracted from her morning nap. That way, when I got home around lunch, we could hit the road- and Lucy would sleep. All went to plan and the trip went pretty smoothly. I only wish we didn’t have the time-change to deal with- we lose an hour moving from Central to Eastern.

Oh, and before I go any further, I want to give a shout out to our latest purchase- a hitch-mounted cargo carrier and bag. We spent MONTHS debating a new, more generously-sized car (even going so far as to get a loan application and test-drive a beautiful *used* Excursion), but could simply not commit to a car payment (Brett’s truck is paid off, and we’re looking forward to paying off the Honda in a few months). While we both would have loved the Excursion, it wasn’t “fiscally responsible”- aka not fun. Anyway, we spent only $200 for the carrier and bag (which is both HUGE and waterproof, btw), and that’s solved our space issue for now. We’re up front, Lucy’s in the middle (as will be the new baby), and the cargo area is, as usual, occupied by Savannah and Chuck. My, what we sacrifice for our canine babies! Bonus: because the bag is BEHIND the car and not ON TOP of it, it doesn’t hurt gas mileage, and it’s easy to get to.

Back to the story….so Friday night was spent with family. On Saturday, Brett, two of our friends from UGA, my mom, my aunt, and I headed to the Clemson game. Even though we were in the upper UPPER deck, we had a great time. I managed to get what may be the worst sunburn of my life- on my feet! Leave it to me to live in Florida and get burned after a few hours of October sun. As of right now, it still looks as though I have on red socks.

After the game, we returned to Brett's parents' house, where we enjoyed a yummy barbecue. Tons of delicious food, lots of friends, great time! I was especially glad to get to see the Mertens family and finally meet Ms. Abigail in person. Abigail and Lucy are only a few weeks apart in age, and will have siblings very close in age as well- too cute :-)

Sunday was a day for church and relaxation, and I was sad to say goodbye to my mama. The next time I will see her is when the Deuce arrives, so hopefully it won't be too long! We headed back home on Monday, and had a relatively uneventful trip. We managed to make the trip with only one stop, and Lucy behaved very well for the vast majority of it. However, I'm still grateful that I won't have to cram myself in the back seat next to her for quite a while.

Wordless Wednesday.

Lucy's First Boat Ride.

Nesting.

With both of my pregnancies, I was very sick for the first 24 weeks or so, experiencing terrible nausea and vomiting and losing 15+ lbs. Thank goodness for the wonder-drug that is Zofran, or I'd probably be a lot worse off. Even after 24 weeks, about the time when I managed to wean myself off Zofran, I still had occasional bouts of the same symptoms, as well as fatigue. I consider myself one of the least productive pregnant women around- I just don't have the energy to do much, even when it involves baby-related things.

Lucy's Clemson tutu, still in progress.

So you can imagine my surprise when I was about 30 weeks pregnant with Lucy and discovered my "nesting" instincts. I woke up one morning and went from feeling really crappy and wanting to lay in bed all day to wanting to clean the grout in the bathroom with a toothbrush (not an exaggeration, by the way). No, not wanting, NEEDING to clean the grout.

Shirt for Lucy- I had to buy an iron-on, because they don't make "big sister" shirts for babies!

The smallest size I could find was 2T...so I whipped up one for her.

Up until that point, I had always thought that nesting was a cutesy term for mamas getting ready for birth, more of an overall desire to get things ready for baby than a mental state. It wasn't until I experienced it myself that I recognized that, for me anyway, nesting should be classified as a legitimate medical condition.

The first knitting project I've stuck with- it's starting to come a little easier, though.

Last week (again, around 30 weeks), the nesting craziness began again. It started Friday night, when I laid in bed, daydreaming about all of the things I could be doing instead of sleeping. Cleaning, baking, and reorganizing the garage all came to mind. When I woke up Saturday morning at about 5:30, I got to work. By the time the weekend was over, in addition to my normal chores, I had managed to cook up 2 gallons of chicken soup, bake 4 dozen pumpkin-chocolate chip cookies, sew a pillowcase dress for Lucy, nearly complete her tutu and a smaller version of it (for who, I didn't stop to consider- it was just cute!), scrapbook several pages for Lucy's book.......During the week, I spent a lot of time knitting, scoping out gender-neutral baby clothing (as if I don't have enough from when Lucy was born), and continuing a long list of chores I'd come up with.

Pumpkin cheesecake- observe the beautiful layers. Delicious- and hey, you gotta feed the nester!

Finally, last night, Brett and I accomplished one of my major nesting goals, one that paves the way for future nesting activities: we re-arranged the nursery to squeeze in an extra crib and dresser. Now that we've figured that out, I can nest to my heart's delight, moving Lucy's clothes to the bigger dresser, sorting through newborn clothes to go in the old one, putting the crib padding and accessories on the new crib (which is pretty ridiculous, since Lucy didn't sleep in a crib until she was over a year old- but I like to use the crib for changing baby's clothes, a place to play while I'm putting clothes away, etc), and decorating. It was hard to sleep last night, thinking of all the possibilities!

Second attempt at a pillowcase dress- peanut butter jelly time!

Of course, it didn't help matters that I bought some half-and-half yesterday at the grocery store that has an expiration date AFTER my due date (yes, it was ultra-pasteurized, but still!)

My mama is crazyyy!

Mommy jealousy and mommy guilt.

I think all of us experience it at one time or another. Humans are, I believe, rather competitive by nature; we judge our accomplishments according to what our peers have also achieved. As mothers, we often compare the development of our children to those of our friends or family members. Further, we sometimes view our children’s accomplishments as some kind of barometer by which to measure our own success as mothers.

I’ll give you an example. At 13 months, Lucy frequently babbles, hums, and even sings. However, her words are limited to mama, dada, baba, and yeah. Further, even though we’ve worked extensively with her on signing for 6 months now, Lucy only uses a handful of signs, and still somewhat irregularly.

The daughter of a friend is only a little older than the Goose, but is incredibly verbal. Not only does she speak many words, but she speaks them clearly. Additionally, she can sign. Overall she has an incredible grasp of language for a child of her age.

Am I jealous? TOTALLY!

I know I shouldn’t be. I know it’s ridiculous. But I feel the same way when I hear about a child who sleeps through the night, or practically runs through the house, or has hit any number of milestones Lucy hasn’t yet. I know it’s not fair to compare Lucy to other children. I should be satisfied that she is healthy and happy and developing well-within the spectrum of “normal”- who determines what is normal, by the way?

Also, because I work outside of the home, my “mommy guilt” is intense. I’ll bare my soul here: I often wonder if Lucy would be developing differently if I were a stay-at-home mom. Would she be signing more by now? Could she speak more clearly? I feel a great deal of guilt for not being able to spend more time with her during the week.

Please don’t get me wrong- Brett is a fabulous father and does an amazing job with Lucy during the day. He takes her on little trips to the library and the pool, builds pillow forts in the yard, bakes cookies….. I’m immeasurably grateful that not only have we avoided putting Lucy in daycare, but that she gets to spend every day with her Daddy.

I do my best to make the time I get to spend with Lucy quality time, mainly through attachment parenting techniques like extended breastfeeding, babywearing, and, until recently, bedsharing. Still, the daily separation from my daughter is difficult. The guilt that I feel from having to work every day (and yes, for the record, I HAVE to work- my military service commitment wasn’t up yet when Lucy was born) makes it hard for me to justify spending time away from her at all when I’m not working. For heaven’s sake, I felt terrible for *one time* leaving her at home with Brett instead of taking her grocery shopping with me on a Saturday morning. I have a gift certificate for a massage sitting on my office desk that’s been there since Mother’s Day- how could I possibly justify spending one of the two mornings I have off during the week at the spa?

I can’t help but look forward to the day when I’ll get the chance to stay home with Lucy and her little brother or sister. I can’t wait until I can guiltlessly take some time for myself because I “earned” it, having taken care of the kids all week. I’m anxious for when I can take them to the library, go on play dates, etc- at which point Lucy will probably be old enough to say, “Why can’t Daddy stay home with me?”

Sigh.

Wordless Wednesday.

This WW is brought to you by my first attempt at a pillowcase-style dress for Miss Lucy.

30 weeks.

I'm 30 weeks today, and it's October now, which means.....that if I have this baby at 38 weeks like I did Lucy, I could have a baby NEXT MONTH! Wahoooooo!

Just gotta brag a little.

I am so proud of my Lucy!

When we first decided to nightwean, I struggled. I worried about how Lucy would handle the change. She surprised both Brett and I when she made the adjustment relatively smoothly, with very little fussing at all. The whole process took less than a week, and we maintained our family bed. For more details on the technique we used, check out Dr. Jay Gordon's website.

However, we all knew this was a short-term solution- while I love, love, love bed-sharing, it simply isn't safe with a toddler and a newborn in the same bed. So Brett and I finally took the plunge and began to make the adjustment to having Lucy sleep in her own crib. Right now, the crib's still in our room, but eventually we will move her to the nursery- we don't want to have issues with the new baby waking her up and vice-versa.

Anyway, tonight marks Lucy's fourth night in her crib. The first two nights, it took 45 and 30 minutes to put her to sleep, respectively. Because I don't believe in allowing babies to "cry-it-out," I spent that time sitting on a pillow beside Lucy's crib. Following her nighttime nursing session and follow-up bottle, I would lay her down in her crib with her "lovey" and "paci," and rub her back while singing to her. If she stood up and tried to play, I would simply lay her down again and continue on. Although it took more patience than I previously knew I had, my persistence overcame Lucy's will to stay awake, and she eventually fell asleep with virtually no tears shed and minimum fussing.

On the third night, Lucy put herself to sleep! After laying her down with her paci and lovey as before, she just went right to sleep. The same thing occurred tonight. I am in awe!

Although we still have a ways to go (Lucy still wakes up several times at night, often needing one of us to replace her paci before she can fall back asleep, and she does come in to our bed in the morning, because I nurse her before work), I am so proud of my daughter! She is proving to be a very flexible and resilient little girl.