Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Since Saturday, I’ve been 33 weeks preggo, which means that if I deliver the Deuce at the same time as Lucy, I have just under 5 weeks to go. I’m not gonna lie- 5 weeks sounds a lot more appealing at this point than 7 or, heaven help me, 9.
- I’m up roughly 10 pounds from my non-pregnancy weight. I’m guessing that I’ll end up gaining about 15 or so total- that would put me about the same as with Lucy. I’m fine with this, because it means that after I deliver this little one, I will be on the fast track to “back-to-normal.” Being practically continuously pregnant for the past 2 years has not been good to my self-image.
- I have (KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK ON WOOD) no stretch marks yet. I’m going to credit my daily application of shea and coco butter for this. That and drinking tons of water. And great genes (thanks, Mama!)
- My hair looks fabulous. My skin is pretty clear.
- I’m sleeping pretty well. Lucy is napping in HER crib in HER room now, and at least starts out the night there. She still ends up in our room between 4:30-5:30 most nights, but that’s fine because I get up around 5:45 every morning, and she nurses before work.
- This baby is a mover! I seldom worry about whether he/she is doing okay because there’s so much movement.
- I’m still in nesting mode and getting a lot accomplished. Realistically, the baby could come at any time and we’d be ready. Diapers and covers are washed, I have some ‘sposies, we already have wipes in the warmer for Lucy…clothes are all sorted and washed. Diapers, boobs, some sleepers…that’s all you really need (oh, and a carseat if you want to come home!)
- I have SO MANY Braxton-Hicks (BH) contractions. I have a couple every hour during the day, and then when I get home at night…WHAM! I actually ended up in Labor and Delivery last week to be monitored because I was having near-continuous, super-uncomfortable, borderline-painful BH. Luckily the baby is handling the BH fine, and there is no cervical change so far. Stay put, baby- at least for 5 more weeks!
- Just about everything sets off the BH. Walking too fast, peeing, bending the wrong way, baby movement….all turn my uterus rock hard. I’m hoping that because of all the practicing, this labor will be even quicker and easier than mine with Lucy was. I’m supposed to call L&D if I have more than 6 BH in an hour…but….that is practically every day. My strategy now is to simply lay down, drink *more* water, eat protein, and see what happens- if that doesn’t stop ‘em, then I’ll call.
- I’m starting to get a little nervous about tandem-nursing. Don’t get me wrong- I didn’t push through all the nipple-soreness, nursing strikes, etc. to give up now. Plus Lucy is nursing as enthusiastically as ever, so I don’t foresee her giving up in the next few weeks. I actually pumped the other day out of curiosity and got an ounce easily, so I know I still have milk. I guess I’m more wondering how it will all work…nursing both before work, both before bed….how much I will be able to pump…is it true that you produce as if you had twins…so many questions! I guess I will just have to wait and see.
- Even though I’ve not gained that much weight, I’m quickly outgrowing all my clothes- including my maternity stuff. I think I’m down to 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of capris that fit. However, I’m not up to buying more stuff, so I think I’ll just suck it up for now…especially since I wear a uniform to work anyways.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Anyway, Brett managed to pack the car while I was at work while simultaneously keeping Lucy distracted from her morning nap. That way, when I got home around lunch, we could hit the road- and Lucy would sleep. All went to plan and the trip went pretty smoothly. I only wish we didn’t have the time-change to deal with- we lose an hour moving from Central to Eastern.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I think all of us experience it at one time or another. Humans are, I believe, rather competitive by nature; we judge our accomplishments according to what our peers have also achieved. As mothers, we often compare the development of our children to those of our friends or family members. Further, we sometimes view our children’s accomplishments as some kind of barometer by which to measure our own success as mothers.
I’ll give you an example. At 13 months, Lucy frequently babbles, hums, and even sings. However, her words are limited to mama, dada, baba, and yeah. Further, even though we’ve worked extensively with her on signing for 6 months now, Lucy only uses a handful of signs, and still somewhat irregularly.
The daughter of a friend is only a little older than the Goose, but is incredibly verbal. Not only does she speak many words, but she speaks them clearly. Additionally, she can sign. Overall she has an incredible grasp of language for a child of her age.
Am I jealous? TOTALLY!
I know I shouldn’t be. I know it’s ridiculous. But I feel the same way when I hear about a child who sleeps through the night, or practically runs through the house, or has hit any number of milestones Lucy hasn’t yet. I know it’s not fair to compare Lucy to other children. I should be satisfied that she is healthy and happy and developing well-within the spectrum of “normal”- who determines what is normal, by the way?
Also, because I work outside of the home, my “mommy guilt” is intense. I’ll bare my soul here: I often wonder if Lucy would be developing differently if I were a stay-at-home mom. Would she be signing more by now? Could she speak more clearly? I feel a great deal of guilt for not being able to spend more time with her during the week.
Please don’t get me wrong- Brett is a fabulous father and does an amazing job with Lucy during the day. He takes her on little trips to the library and the pool, builds pillow forts in the yard, bakes cookies….. I’m immeasurably grateful that not only have we avoided putting Lucy in daycare, but that she gets to spend every day with her Daddy.
I do my best to make the time I get to spend with Lucy quality time, mainly through attachment parenting techniques like extended breastfeeding, babywearing, and, until recently, bedsharing. Still, the daily separation from my daughter is difficult. The guilt that I feel from having to work every day (and yes, for the record, I HAVE to work- my military service commitment wasn’t up yet when Lucy was born) makes it hard for me to justify spending time away from her at all when I’m not working. For heaven’s sake, I felt terrible for *one time* leaving her at home with Brett instead of taking her grocery shopping with me on a Saturday morning. I have a gift certificate for a massage sitting on my office desk that’s been there since Mother’s Day- how could I possibly justify spending one of the two mornings I have off during the week at the spa?
I can’t help but look forward to the day when I’ll get the chance to stay home with Lucy and her little brother or sister. I can’t wait until I can guiltlessly take some time for myself because I “earned” it, having taken care of the kids all week. I’m anxious for when I can take them to the library, go on play dates, etc- at which point Lucy will probably be old enough to say, “Why can’t Daddy stay home with me?”