Thursday, December 30, 2010

How do you do it?

How do you listen to your tiny baby cry for HOURS?
How do you ignore his or her cry for food, for comfort, for YOU?

If something feels wrong to you- if you have to fight your maternal instinct to pick up your baby- then IT IS wrong.

Mothering doesn't stop when the sun goes down. Babies are not created to live half the day isolated from their primary source of nourishment and nurturing.

YOU are the expert on your baby- not the M.D. (or, worse, the pseudo-doc) who wrote the book.

My heart is so heavy tonight.

Addendum: I know I shouldn't be so judgmental. There are plenty of people who disagree with my parenting practices. But I can't help but feel angry at the "experts" who convince mamas that we don't know how to mother, that our instincts are wrong, that we are better off listening to (most of the time, anyway) a man with book profits on his mind. Just as I believe women know how to birth, and know the best way for them to birth, I believe mamas know how to take care of their children. I wish more women would trust their gut in this respect.

5 comments:

Ed and Elizabeth said...

What the heck happened???

Emily said...

Nothing specifically. I just keep hearing about people getting sucked in sleep training with newborns. You want to get your older kid to sleep longer, fine. But a few-week-old? It is unfathomable to me that someone can let their child cry (even until they throw up, then leave them in it.) Believe it or not, there is actually a book that endorses it (and it's not even Babywise!) Newborns are not designed to sleep through the night, and "through the night" is 5-6 hours, people. God forbid you're a new mom and don't sleep 9-10 hours. What do people expect?

IDK. I almost can't read some blogs/social networking sites anymore.

I'm sorry for ranting. I know I'm super sensitive, but it makes me physically ill to think about this.

Ida Mae said...

I am right there with you Momma! I even got in a pretty brutal fight with my so called best friend over her suggestion to lock my son in his room and walk away. We still haven't made up, not sure if we can over it, actually.

I have a hard enough time hearing Sam cry if I have to get up to go pee and he knows!

Emily said...

Ida Mae- I'm so glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. Thanks for the reminder!

Denise said...

Amen, amen, amen. I don't care who says to "ignore" your baby, or "turn the monitor off" (babywise!), or "walk so you can't hear them." Our instinct were put there for a reason. If anything violates my mommy instinct, I immediately don't trust it. I bounce a lot of ideas off Jonathan, and we are usually right one with our ideas (usually) but he does NOT have the instinct. It's weird. The great thing is the few times I was so sick I could not comfort her crying (just needing holding, and I was puking or recovering from it), Jonathan has always stepped in and taken care of her over me (b/c she had the need). It's been good. Even then it tore me up not to be "The One".

And amen about babies not being designed to sleep TTN (which is 5-6 hours as you say). I can never say that enough.